


Clean Slate

by thisiswherethefishlives



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, Poe's a doctor and Finn's a former cult member, Tattoo Removal, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:40:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5765125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisiswherethefishlives/pseuds/thisiswherethefishlives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after the fall of the First Order a former cult member walks into a tattoo removal clinic. </p>
<p>It sounds like the setup for a bad joke, but the outcome is (hopefully) more charming than you'd assume.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clean Slate

“You know, you look familiar.”

It’s certainly not the first time that he’s hard that. Over the years he’s heard it all. How he’s got ‘one of those faces’, or how maybe it’s through a mutual friend that he’s met countless people. It’s gotten to the point where it doesn’t phase him anymore. He doesn’t flinch at the idea of being recognized, his mouth doesn’t go dry, and his words don’t get stuck in his throat.

So, no. It’s not the first time that Finn’s heard that he looks familiar but it  _ is _ the first time in a while that he can’t brush it off. Squaring his shoulders against the urgent impulse to run, he turns towards the man that’s just entered the room, and he does his best to meet his eyes straight on with what he hopes is a wry smile.

“Yeah, I was kind of hoping that you could help me with that.”

The man, Poe Dameron, MD (if his badge is to believed) just blinks at that before smiling warmly in return, shutting the door behind him and hopping up onto a stool as easy as anything. 

He’s graceful. There’s gray at his temples and he can’t be taller than Finn is, but in the moment he seems larger than life. Almost against his will, Finn can feel himself staring at the man as the stool spins under his weight. He’s graceful and childlike all at once as he kicks into another spin, smile growing across his face despite the ridiculousness of it all, and it hits Finn hard that he’s never been that free.

It’s hard to say anything after that, but then Dr. Dameron spins to a halt and that warm smile is fixed solely at Finn.

“Sorry about that. I never could resist taking a spin on this bad boy, but I can assure you that contrary to the immediate evidence, I actually am a doctor. Damn good one too, so I can tell you straight off that you’re in good hands.”

The doctor’s got kind eyes. The kind of eyes that can tell you an entire story without a single word having been said. It’s not the first time that Finn’s seen eyes like that, but it is the first time that he doesn’t feel smaller because of it. 

Dr. Dameron’s gaze flits around to take Finn in, and it’s only after what feels like an excruciatingly awkward period of silence that Finn realizes that it was probably his turn to talk. 

He can feel his cheeks warm under the doctor’s scrutiny and a small, private part of Finn wants to crawl into a hole. Even after all these years, even with the miles he’s got between his present and his past, there are still moments that manage to hammer home just how far he’s got to go before ‘normal’ kicks in. 

He’s opening his mouth to say something (though he can’t be certain of the words that will fall from his lips even as he can feel them rising up his throat) but then the doctor’s smiling big and bright and everything else falls away.

The man’s got a gap between his top front teeth, so small that it’s barely noticeable, but Finn can’t  _ help  _ but notice it.

It’s charming.

“Sorry about that, sometimes I get carried away and forget myself. My name is Poe Dameron and if it’s alright with you, I’d like to spend some time just talking about why you’re here and how I can help. We’ve got you down for some standard tattoo removal procedures, so if you’ve got any questions or concerns about treatment, this would be a good time to go over them.”

There’s another beat and Finn wants to kick himself because the man’s teeth aren’t the only thing that’s charming about the man. His whole  _ being _ is charming and Finn kind of wants to die because he may be many things but he’s never been charming himself. It leaves him flustered and waffling somewhere between envious, smitten, and tongue-tied.

“Um...” It’s pretty much the best he can come up with under the charming/gap-toothed circumstances and all it does is invite another awkward pause. It’s mortifying to say the least, but there are kind eyes meeting his own and his insurance doesn’t cover today’s visit. Finn may be a social catastrophe on a good day (as Rey so kindly reminds him on the regular), but he’s also frugal, so he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get his money’s worth out of today’s appointment. “I have a tattoo that I’d like to get rid of and I heard that this clinic is the best… pretty simple, really. No questions, no concerns, I just want to get the ball rolling.”

The doctor nods, eyes focused on the clipboard in his lap as he furiously makes little notes, casually swaying the stool back and forth as he writes. 

“Sounds straightforward enough. Would you mind if I took a look at what we’ll be removing?” Finn finds himself nodding along with the doctor’s words, but suddenly it’s a thousand times harder to meet the other man’s eyes. “Seeing the tattoo will give me a better sense of how we can proceed.”

“Oh.”

Under better situations Finn would be mortified over his lack of conversational skills, but it’s like his brain’s gone on cruise control as the charming doctor motions for him to go ahead. Slowly (at least it feels slow in his head) Finn brings his hands to the hem of his shirt before sweeping it over his head in a practiced motion. Feeling numb, he hops off the generously padded exam table and turns around.

He doesn’t have to wait long for a reaction.

Nearly inaudible under the rushing of his ears, Finn can hear the other man gasp as he takes in the tattoo.

It’s such a part of who Finn was and the past that he’s so desperate to escape that he doesn’t have to close his eyes to picture it. A toothed circle boxed in by a stark hexagon, all thick lines and tragedy, and all Finn wants to do is run. It would be so easy to pull his shirt back on, easier still to slip out the door - for all that his insurance won’t cover the consultation fee, he’s seen the impression that the symbol can make - this charming doctor wouldn’t be dumb enough to come after him.

Finn’s sure of it.

Fingers clenched at his sides, Finn leaves his shirt where it’s draped across the table and he waits for the inevitable. To be turned away. To be gawked at… maybe not in that order, but it’s happened before and he had known what today’s visit would entail. 

He waits, the monotonous ‘teck, teck’ of the wall clock echoing in the awkwardness until it’s suddenly drowned out by the ‘scritch’ of pencil against paper.

“Alright, Finn. Why don’t you put your shirt back on, and then we can discuss treatment options. Sound good?”

Dumbly, Finn nods, fingers clumsy and fumbling as he struggles to pull the fabric over his head.

“So… based on the size, location, and the moderate amount of ink that was used in the design, I’m thinking that it will take as little as five to six sessions to get you where you want to be. We have a few different options as far as the actual removal goes, but I would recommend the InkAbiit laser system. It’s less painful, takes less time, and I can  _ personally  _ vouch for how well it works. 

“Don’t tell anyone, but I went through a really obsessive Blasters N’ Ewox stage back in high school that literally  _ everyone _ knew about. Long story short, I got a little drunk and a lot desperate and before I knew it the guy I’d been crushing on for years dared me to get a tattoo of the lead singer on my thigh. Never could resist a dare… and  _ now  _ you can find the before and after pictures framed out in the lobby. I’m basically a walking advertisement for InkAbiit and poor decisions.”

The story is not at all what Finn was expecting. It’s so far removed from the judgment or the pity that he had been waiting for that he can’t help but giggle. A well-timed display of spirit fingers towards the end has him all out cackling and it takes Finn longer than he’d like to admit to get himself back under control. There are tears in his eyes and his stomach aches something fierce… but it’s only after he’s stopped laughing that the wind really gets knocked out of him because Dr. Dameron is looking at him like he’s something special.

The moment stretches out between them, eyes locked and searching, but then the doctor’s spinning around towards the rack of brochures behind him, picking out a few pamphlets before spinning back around.

The charming smile is firmly back in place, but Finn can’t forget the way that the other man had looked at him before with his bottom lip pulled snuggly between his teeth and the stars in his eyes. He’s a beautiful man and part of Finn wishes that he could have stayed in that moment forever, but then pamphlets are being pressed into his hands and the moment is over.

“Look, here’s some reading information that you should go over before deciding if this is what you want to do. Here alone we have a few different methods of tattoo removal and there’s another clinic two towns over that gets great reviews. If you were interested, I could also give you the information for a great tattoo artist that’s set up in the city. She does good work and it can sometimes be cheaper to get a tattoo covered up in favor of getting it removed. I- I’m babbling, I know, but it’s important that you know that there are options.”

Dr. Dameron’s fingers brush against Finn’s as he hands off the pamphlets and there's something in the warmth of the man’s eyes coupled with the electric feeling that buzzes at his touch that makes up Finn’s mind.

This is where he wants to be and this is the man he wants.

He’s only just met him, but already this doctor has done something that few people have been able to do in the five years since everything changed. He’s managed to set Finn at ease, and that alone is worth the expense and the time.

Folding the brochures away into his satchel, Finn catches himself returning the doctor's kind smile.

“I’ll read through them for sure, but I don’t think I’m going to be changing my mind. I’m ready to move on and I want to start the treatments as soon as possible.”

The doctor doesn’t look terribly surprised at Finn’s declaration, nodding along instead as he jots down some more information on his clipboard. 

“Do me a favor and take the time to think about it, okay? You can take my card and give me a call in a couple of days - If you still want to get this removed we can get started as soon as next week.”

Again, there's a soft brush of skin against skin as the doctor hands over his card, and Finn wants nothing more than to grab the man's hand.

The very idea of holding hands with a near stranger shouldn't be tempting, and logically Finn  _ knows _ that… but knowing something doesn't necessarily help dim the thought.

He settles instead for nodding in agreement before stuffing the card into the breast pocket of his shirt.

They don't touch again as Dr. Dameron leads him from the clinic, but he does stay close, a warm constant by Finn’s side.

With a final smile and a wave goodbye they part at the door and Finn starts the long walk home.

There's something eager growing in his stomach that would be all too easy to blame on nerves or excitement... really though, it probably has less to do with the upcoming tattoo removal and more to do with the man performing the procedure.

Ultimately, Finn is charmed.


End file.
